Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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