all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
i think im in europe. pls send help
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
