i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
