Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
