I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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