hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
