New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
