i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
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do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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