New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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