did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize