One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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