paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Dick very happy bro
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
