3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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