So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
