her vagine was all disorganized.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
It was confusing and full of hummus
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
