Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
