dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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