that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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