weddingsv make me drug and hornr
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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