there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
let's call it "werewolfing"
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?