oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE