It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
