Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
