She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
