Texts From Last Night

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  (562): View more from California

  Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar

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  (562): Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar http://tfl.nu/ilql
  Replies (6) Good night (910) Bad night (2394)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything

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  (815): yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything http://tfl.nu/8gpe
  Replies (14) Good night (4437) Bad night (906)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day

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  (802): I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day http://tfl.nu/wkei
  Replies (13) Good night (4415) Bad night (1203)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Pass out mid-funnel last night.

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  (603): Pass out mid-funnel last night. http://tfl.nu/a6ug
  Replies (4) Good night (2443) Bad night (1880)
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  (858): View more from California

  I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.

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  (858): I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way. http://tfl.nu/w85x
  Replies (26) Good night (15195) Bad night (1220)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes

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  (773): Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes http://tfl.nu/y66v
  Replies (27) Good night (4894) Bad night (1205)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question

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  (612): The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question http://tfl.nu/cvyj
  Replies (8) Good night (3421) Bad night (1029)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.

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  (815): He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background. http://tfl.nu/8wbf
  Replies (5) Good night (686) Bad night (1841)
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  (589): View more from

  This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.

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  (589): This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing. http://tfl.nu/5sq0
  Replies (3) Good night (1237) Bad night (495)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.

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  (214): They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday. http://tfl.nu/u6e3
  Replies (6) Good night (1249) Bad night (709)
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  (559): View more from California

  Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.

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  (559): Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests. http://tfl.nu/zkju
  Replies (2) Good night (670) Bad night (379)
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  (805): View more from California

  I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.

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  (805): I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses. http://tfl.nu/vuhx
  Replies (3) Good night (827) Bad night (537)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.

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  (773): we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is. http://tfl.nu/vwba
  Replies (2) Good night (961) Bad night (378)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.

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  (+44): I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties. http://tfl.nu/0x35
  Replies (1) Good night (484) Bad night (211)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse

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  (763): I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse http://tfl.nu/ftxx
  Replies (1) Good night (137) Bad night (414)

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