im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
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I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
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doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.