I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
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If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
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Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.