I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he fucked my hip out of place.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
