Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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