i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
