okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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