I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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