we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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