is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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