Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
