I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Please don't give away my fajitas
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
