What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Randomize