she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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