i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
