no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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