I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
