This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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