I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
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