ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
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Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
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It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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