i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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