he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
