I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
