hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
