He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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