I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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