Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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