well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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