she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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