its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
