dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
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And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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