please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
