Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
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You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
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Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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