pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I had to cum in my sink.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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