i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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