This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
