He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
