That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
