i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
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