you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
